Hump Day

Today is day 50 of the 100 day transplant process. Half way there. Half way to home. 

We celebrated tonight with crab/artichoke dip and moose stroganoff.

A special thanks to Robin, Linda, Elly, & Chelse for the laughs and good company. 

While the transplant process has been what I hope is the roughest thing my body will need to endure until I reach the oldest of old lady status, it has gone very well. I engrafted about a week and a half early for cord blood transplants- my red blood cells, platelets, and neutrophils are way above average for this stage in the game, and my care team is really happy with the results. I've had some skin graft versus host disease (GVHD) for a few weeks which really looks worse than what it is, covering everything but my face and bottom of hands and feet, but after some high dose prednisone and a clinical trial light therapy, it's really starting to go away. Although no GVHD is always preferred, the skin GVHD is probably the most ideal, as it shows that my cells should have a good graft vs. leukemia effect, meaning the new cells should know to kill off any potential mutation. Overall, I really can't complain, but if I had to, I'd just wish for new eyelashes to start growing in. Other than that, I'm just grateful and thankful to be here and have this opportunity at new life. A good end to the year and a fresh start for 2018. 

I've been fairly silent lately. Life is a little boring post transplant, although, I'd argue boring is the best post transplant. I've binged watched a lot of HBOGO (thanks Chris!), but I've also had a lot of time to think and reflect. 

While obviously different, I guess I sort of equate the past nearly 2 years of my life to military basic training- breaking everything down- physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually- to the bones and building it back up. For all of the terrible, awful times, there has always been a silver lining. 

When you've been isolated in a hospital room, you realize the value of hearing people converse and laugh, the wind on your face, the feeling of being hot or cold, a non-hospital-cooked meal. There becomes a sadness, yet appreciation, in simple moments you realize you experience every day that no one is ever guaranteed. I finally feel like I wholly know who I am, and I don't feel like I have anything to prove. I have very simple needs and wants that really fill up my cup. It's refreshing, yet intimidating to be free. It's a lot of responsibility and exciting.

I am so incredibly grateful for all of the prayers, love, good vibes, support, good juju, etc. from so many of you out there. Going into the transplant, I had a solid few weeks of trying to take on the burden internally until I came to terms that I just can't do all of this stuff on my own. So, thank you, truly. 

In the next three weeks, my care team will be working on my post-transplant workup to get me home (fingers crossed for Christmas). It's going to be a long journey to complete recovery, but I'm feeling stronger everyday and that feels pretty damn good.