Interesting Characters

Spending 8 hours a day in an infusion center really gives you the chance to meet a wide variety of people from quite diverse backgrounds. 

A couple of days ago, I met an interesting lady who reminded me of the actress, Kathy Bates, with her southern accent and short gray hair but with "rainbow bangs" as I'd like to call them, fading from blue to red to purple. 

Religion is often an uncomfortable subject for many people to discuss and many of us don't really talk openly to people about our beliefs but "Kathy" was ready to go as soon as I met her, with her first question to me of "Are you a Christian woman?" I responded with yes but got that little bit of side eye when I mentioned that I was Catholic 😜. She seconded her first question by then telling me that I was a young woman, capable of much strength and a better purpose later in my life and that was why the devil was trying to get to me now. That if I simply commanded to the devil to leave my body, God would rid my body of all disease and eventually, I would be cured. 

While I very much believe in a higher power, the power of prayer, saints, and loved ones who have passed being able to guide us through good and bad times, I've never considered leukemia to be "the devil working within me," and I'm still sort of thrown off by her comments. Not that they put any doubt in my mind, but it was pretty interesting to see a woman so sure of her ability to rid her own body of cancer by doing the very same thing she was telling me to do. 

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. Some things we do, cause negative reactions in our lives, just as some things cause positive events. Other times, we might feel that we're in control and we're doing everything we can to keep our heads above water, maybe even waist above water, and things still don't go the way we had "planned." I think that there's no doubt that the power of prayer and meditation can help us achieve our goals, whether they happen on our own time or according to God's or your preferred higher being's power. 

I guess my main thoughts were "is meeting "Kathy" a twist of fate? Does she know something I don't? Maybe I should just do what she says because it couldn't hurt?" 

Anyways, it was a fairly weird, awkward experience, but I think it means something because 2 days later, I'm still thinking about it. 

Hope you're all having a great Thursday. Only one more day left of chemo after today- then onto periodic blood checks and attempting to stay as healthy as possible while waiting for my counts to recover. 

Back to Work

We've stuffed as much summer as possible into the past 2 weeks, knowing that once I start  chemo, I might not feel like doing much. We've fished the Big Hole twice, van lifed up to Canada and northwest Montana, played in the hippo pool, ridden the horseys on the carousel, hung out with friends, and probably some other things that I'm missing because we've been busy enough living life that I haven't had a chance to sit down and think about the "not-so-fun" stuff about life right now. 

I had my Hickman line placed right before going to Canada so I'd have some time to recover before getting treatment. The procedure wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and I have a suspicion that it would have been even easier had I not wrecked my bike 2 days before having the procedure completed. In my 31 years, I've never wrecked a bike like that, and despite how my injuries still look, I finally feel like I'm on the mend. 

Fast forward to today- back to work on regaining health. Today is the day that shit gets real. It's my first day back in the St. Pat's Infusion Center for the first day of G-CLAM. I'll be getting 4 drugs this time- filgrastim (growth factor shot), cytarabine, cladribine, and mitoxantrone. I'm a little nervous about the mitoxantrone because I've never had it before. Some people call it the "blue thunder" which sounds a little ominous. Others say that it's no big deal. I handled the chemo fairly well last year, so I'm hopeful that I can do it again. 

I haven't heard much from Seattle except that they are confirming the availability of the cords for the transplant. Once that happens, they'll provide an arrival date which they mentioned might by August 8 for pre-testing with a tentative transplant around Labor Day weekend. The nerd in me thinks it's sort of cool that my second birthday might actually occur near my actual birthday. Virgo 4 Lyfe 💪

You'll have to forgive me today for the rambling. My head feels like it's spinning a little bit with everything I need to do/take care of while continuing to enjoy what time I have left with my family and friends in MT. It sort of feels like I'm at the top of the first hill on a rollercoaster...the anticipation, the stomach drop, etc. It usually ends up being worth it when the ride is over, but at the top of that hill, you're not quite sure if it was a good decision to get on the ride to begin with, but there's no turning back now. 

I still feel good about everything, and I'm ready to do what I need to do. I just wish I didn't have to.